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“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1 (ESV)

“Why does the apostle us the word obey instead of honor, which has a greater extent of meaning? It is because obedience is the evidence of that honor which children owe to their parents and is therefore more earnestly enforced.” – John Calvin   

The Apostle Paul continues to examine the biblical roles within the family unit. Having begun with the husband and wife relationship, he now transitions to the parent child relationship.

Paul begins with the word children (τέκνον; teknon). This means one’s offspring and descendants. In other words, the kids in the family. How are children adolescents and teenagers to behave towards their parents?

The Scripture says, obey your parents. The word obey (ὑπακούω; hypakouo) is a present, active imperative verb. In other words, it is a command. It means to listen and to be obedient (Matt. 8:27; Mark 1:27; Acts 6:7; Rom. 6:12, 16, 17; Eph. 6:1, 5; 2 Thess. 1:8; 1 Peter 3:6). Literally, it means to answer the door (Acts 12:13).

The phrase your parents (σύ γονεύς; sy goneous) refers to fathers, mothers, and also other close relatives ((Mark 13:12; Luke 2:27; 8:56; 21:16; John 9:2; Rom. 1:30; 2 Cor. 12:14; Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20; 2 Tim. 3:2).  

Children are to do so in the Lord (ἐν κύριος; en kyrios). This phase does not mean that children are to obey their parents only if their parents are believers. Rather, a child’s obedience to his parents is pleasing in the Lord’s sight (Col. 3:20).

Not only is obeying one’s parents pleasing to the Lord, but it is also right (εἰμί δίκαιος; eimi dikaios). This means that obedience is proper and righteous in the eyes of God.

Dr. R. C. Sproul writes, “In today’s passage, the apostle addresses Christian children. His main audience consisting of kids who still live under their parents’ roofs. Adult children can certainly draw principles from Ephesians 6:1–3 for their relationship with their parents, but the primary instruction is for those who have yet to reach maturity.”

Dr. Sproul continues by saying, “Scripture uniquely addresses children directly, commanding them as individuals with a moral sense of what they should and should not do. This elevates children from the status of mere possessions to persons, conferring upon them a dignity and worth not always given to them in unbelieving societies. Kids are not chattel who can be treated any way their parents like.”

Dr. Sproul concludes by stating, “Obedience “in the Lord” qualifies the child-parent relationship, but it cannot excuse rebellious kids who disobey rules they do not like. God gives us parents for our benefit, and obeying their wisdom, besides being right, brings us many benefits (Eph. 6:2–3). In fact, children who impenitently disobey the godly instruction of their parents mark themselves off as unregenerate (Rom. 1:28–32; 2 Tim. 3:1–5). Yet children who profess Christ and render respectful love to their parents demonstrate the reality of their salvation, enjoying many other blessings as well.”  

Leviticus 19:3, 14, 32 says for children to honor their parents as they fear and reverence the Lord. This applies to all children, not matter what their age and how long they have lived outside their parent’s home. May we be visible examples of honoring our mothers and fathers.

Soli deo Gloria!

³¹ “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:31–33 (ESV)

The Apostle Paul’s final thought in Ephesians 5 regarding husbands and their wives is found in Eph. 5:33. Having just compared heterosexual marriage to the heavenly union between Christ and the church. Paul reminds his audience not to forget the responsibility within an earthly marriage.

First, the husband is to love his wife as himself. Again, the word love (ἀγαπάω; agapao) means a self-sacrificial love of the will. Additionally, the wife is to respect φοβέω; phobeo) her husband. To respect means to admire and to high opinion of her husband.

Dr. R. C. Sproul writes, “God’s call for husbands to love their wives and for wives to respect their husbands is not an exhortation to naivete, to put up with impenitent abusers, or to pretend that no marital problems will ever arise between two sinners who, by the Lord’s grace, endeavor to fulfill His will for matrimony. Instead, it is a call for two people to set aside their own preferences in the interest of living before the face of God in such a way that shows the world why the Christ-church bond is the most beautiful relationship in all creation. And it is a call for churches to do everything in their power to teach us how to fulfill our respective marital roles as well as to intervene when gross violations of the marriage covenant occur among us.”

The unity between the husband and his wife is to be seen within the church before the Lord Jesus Christ and the world. Husbands, let us never be tyrants towards our wives. Wives, may you never view yourself as slaves to your husbands.  

Soli deo Gloria!    

³¹ “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:31–33 (ESV)

The Holy Spirit brings the Apostle Paul’s instructions concerning husbands and wives to a climatic conclusion. Paul begins vs. 31 with the familiar word therefore (οὗτος; ouotos) meaning a conclusion.  

Paul writes, ““Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Quoting from Genesis 2:24, the apostle wants the Ephesian church, and believers today, to know that the role of husbands and wives remains the same in God’s perspective and should remain the same in our own. Marriage is between a man and a woman: a male husband and his female wife.

The Apostle Paul then says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:32). The word mystery (μυστήριον; mysterion) means a secret (Mark 4:11; Rom. 11:25; 16:25; 1 Cor. 2:1; 4:1; 13:2; 14:2; 15:51; Eph. 1:9; 6:19; Col. 1:26; 2:2; 2 Thess. 2:7; 1 Tim. 3:9; Rev. 17:5). Paul previously developed the doctrine of the mystery of Christ and the church in Ephesians 3:1-6.

The mystery, or secret, to which the apostle refers is profound (μέγας; megas). It is a great, important and an intense mystery. What is this mystery to which Paul refers?

Thy mystery is that the profound unity which exists between a husband and his wife is a type, or picture, of the unity between the Lord Jesus Christ and the church. We do not have to guess that this is the apostle’s meaning because he explicitly says so in the latter part of vs. 32.

Dr. R. C. Sproul says, “The idea that God’s pre-fall commission, from Genesis 2:24, for a man to leave his family and become one with his wife was ultimately intended to foreshadow Christ’s relationship with His bride, the church. This was not so clearly seen in the Old Testament, but now has been fully revealed in Christ. As a man leaves his family and cleaves to his wife, Christ left His Father’s side   and came to cleave to His bride. Having returned to His Father, He brings us with Him to dwell before God forever.”

What a blessed promise from God regarding the church’s eternal security in Christ. Take time today to praise the Lord Jesus for being His eternal bride.

Soli deo Gloria!    

We will devote each Lord’s Day in 2021 at hiswordtoday.org to present a portion of the Westminster Confession of Faith (WCF). For those unfamiliar with the WCF, a brief explanation is appropriate. 

The Westminster Confession of Faith is a Reformed confession of faith. Drawn up by the 1646 Westminster Assembly as part of the Westminster Standards to be a confession of the Church of England, it became and remains the “subordinate standard” of doctrine (to Scripture) in the Church of Scotland and has been influential within Presbyterian churches worldwide.

It is to that “most precise and accurate summary of the content of biblical Christianity” that we will give our time and attention to each Lord’s Day in the year of our Lord, 2021. I trust you will be edified and encouraged each week by The Westminster Confession of Faith.

Chapter Eighteen: Of the Assurance of Grace and Salvation. Part 2.

3. This infallible assurance doth not so belong to the essence of faith, but that a true believer may wait long, and conflict with many difficulties before he be partaker of it:^a yet, being enabled by the Spirit to know the things which are freely given him of God, he may, without extraordinary revelation, in the right use of ordinary means, attain thereunto.^b And therefore it is the duty of everyone to give all diligence to make his calling and election sure;^c that thereby his heart may be enlarged in peace and joy in the Holy Ghost, in love and thankfulness to God, and in strength and cheerfulness in the duties of obedience,^d the proper fruits of this assurance: so far is it from inclining men to looseness.^e

a. Psa 88 throughout; Psa 77:1-12; Isa 50:10; Mark 9:24; 1 John 5:13. • b. 1 Cor 2:12; Eph 3:17-19; Heb 6:11-12; 1 John 4:13. • c. 2 Pet 1:10. • d. Rom 5:1-2, 5; 14:17; 15:13; Eph 1:3-4; Psa 4:6-7; 119:32. • e. Psa 130:4; Rom 6:1-2; 8:1, 12; 2 Cor 7:1; Titus 2:11-12, 14; 1 John 1:6-7; 2:1-2; 3:2-3.

4. True believers may have the assurance of their salvation divers ways shaken, diminished, and intermitted; as, by negligence in preserving of it; by falling into some special sin, which woundeth the conscience, and grieveth the Spirit; by some sudden or vehement temptation; by God’s withdrawing the light of his countenance, and suffering even such as fear him to walk in darkness and to have no light:^a yet are they never utterly destitute of that seed of God, and life of faith, that love of Christ and the brethren, that sincerity of heart and conscience of duty, out of which, by the operation of the Spirit, this assurance may in due time be revived,^b and by the which, in the meantime, they are supported from utter despair.^c

a. Psa 31:22; 51:8, 12, 14; 77:1-10; 88 throughout; Song 5:2-3, 6; Isa 50:10; Mat 26:69-72; Eph 4:30-31. • b. Job 13:15; Psa 51:8, 12; 73:15; Isa 50:10; Luke 22:32; 1 John 3:9. • c. Psa 22:1; 88 throughout; Isa 54:7-10; Jer 32:40; Micah 7:7-9.

I encourage you to read the portions of Scripture listed in this post.

Have a blessed Lord’s Day.

\Soli deo Gloria!

³¹ “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:31–33 (ESV)

The Holy Spirit brings the Apostle Paul’s instructions concerning husbands and wives to a climatic conclusion. Paul begins vs. 31 with the familiar word therefore (οὗτος; ouotos) meaning a conclusion.  

Paul writes, ““Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Quoting from Genesis 2:24, the apostle wants the Ephesian church, and believers today, to know that the role of husbands and wives remains the same in God’s perspective and should remain the same in our own. Marriage is between a man and a woman: a male husband and his female wife.

A man shall leave (καταλείπω; kataleipo) is a strong phrase for Paul to use. It means to literally abandon, to leave behind, to neglect, and to avoid association. Rather than utterly forsaking one’s family prior to marriage, the apostle means that the bond between a husband and his wife is greater than that of a parent and child.

The man is to hold fast to his wife. The phrase hold fast (προσκολλάω; proskollao) means to join and be united to his wife (Mark 10:7; Eph. 5:31+; Matt. 19:5; Acts 5:36). It refers to the most intimate union a man and woman can have.

Dr. John MacArthur writes, “The union of marriage is intimate and unbreakable. “Hold fast” is a phrase used to express having been glued or cemented together, emphasizing the permanence of the union.”  

This intimate union between a husband and wife is also described by the phase and the two shall become one flesh (εἰμί σάρξ εἷς; eimi sarx eis). This phrase not only refers to the physical union of marriage but also to the social, emotional and spiritual union that is to exist in marriage. In natural marriage, the husband and wife combine all four elements of one complete human being: the one being incomplete without the other.

It is my understanding that the intimate union a husband is to have with his wife begins with their spiritual unity in Christ. They are both believers in Christ. It is that unity which guides their own personal union with each other. Emotional, social, and then physical unity is to follow. The physical unity, or the sexual relationship, is the least important and should be understood in light of the previous three areas of marriage unity.  

However, even a superficial glimpse at the current culture reveals that the emphasis in marriage, or human relationships, has been reversed. In other words, it has been turned upside down. The physical, or sexual, union is stressed above all else. This is often at the expense of the other three categories of unity.

Take time today to evaluate your own marriage. What is the priority in your marriage regarding the spiritual, emotional, social and physical union? Is the spiritual union with your spouse the most gratifying and important or is it being neglected? What steps are you willing to make to ensure that you are fostering and nurturing the most important aspect of your intimate relationship with your spouse?

Soli deo Gloria!   

²⁸ “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body.” (Ephesians 5:28–29 (ESV)

The Apostle Paul brings the subject of Jesus Christ’s love for the church and compares it to the husband’s love for his wife. When Paul writes “In the same way” he is referring the reader back to the immediate preceding context of vs. 26-27. The husband’s love for his wife is to be a sanctifying, splendid and holy love.

Furthermore, Paul states that husbands should (ὀφείλω; opheillo) or are obligated to love their wives as their own bodies. In other words, the husband is to infinitely love his wife as his own physical being. As the husband takes care of his physical being through rest, nourishment, and exercise so also he is to care for his wife. To provide for one’s physical body is natural and instinctive. So also should be the husband’s love for his wife.

Generally speaking, no individual ever hated (μισέω; miseo) or detested his own body. Rather, he nourishes (ἐκτρέφω; ektrepho) and provides food for it. Additionally, he cherishes (θάλπω; thalpo) or takes care of it.

The husband’s example of such love is Jesus Christ. Christ spiritually nourishes and cherishes the church because the church is referred to as the body of Christ.

Dr. John Walvoord writes, “Paul applied the truths given in verses 25–27. As the church is the extension of Christ, so is the wife an “extension” of her husband. No one hates his own body but takes care of it. Feeds (ektrephei; cf. “bring them up” in 6:4) and cares for (thalpei; cf. 1 Thes. 2:7) is literally, “nourishes and cherishes.” Thus as Christ loves the church, His body (of which all believers are members; cf. Eph. 4:25), so should husbands … love their wives as their own bodies (5:28; cf. v. 33). Men care for their bodies even though they are imperfect and so they should care for their wives though they are imperfect.”

May each of us who are husbands take these biblical truths seriously.

Soli deo Gloria!   

²⁶ “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:26–27 (ESV)

The Apostle Paul continues his comparison of the love a husband is to have for his wife with the love Christ has for the church. Christ’s love is the standard of self-sacrificial love of the will. A husband’s love for his wife is based and established on this sacrificial standard by the Lord Jesus. This holy standard, not only of God the Father’s love but also Christ’s love for the church, was previously spoken about by Paul in Ephesians 2:1-4.

What was the purpose of such love by God for sinners? Paul sets forth three purposes of Christ’s love in today’s text.

The first is “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.” The second purpose of God’s love in and through Christ is “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.”

The third purpose of Christ’s atoning love is “that she might be holy and without blemish.” As the bride of Christ, the church is referred to in the feminine gender.

Christ’s love is intended to make the church holy. Holy (ἅγιος; hagios) means to be pure, dedicated, divine and separate from sin. Holiness is a fundamental characteristic of believer’s in Christ (1 Cor. 6:2; 2 Cor. 13:12; Php. 4:22; I Peter 1:13-16; Rev. 18:20; 22:21). The phrase without blemish (ἄμωμος; amomos) means to be without fault, defect and perfect in the sight of God.

Dr. John Walvoord writes, “These last two adjectives (hagia, “set apart,” and amōmos, “without blemish,” like a spotless lamb) are stated in Ephesians 1:4 as the purpose of God’s election: that Christ may present His church to Himself in all its perfection (cf. “make holy” in 5:26; also cf. hagious and amōmous in Col. 1:22). Whereas human brides prepare themselves for their husbands, Christ prepares His own bride for Himself.”

During the wedding ceremony, there is a moment when the impending bride enters the sanctuary to present herself to the wedding guests, but most especially to her prospective husband. It is as that moment that the groom could announce to all in attendance that his future bride, arrayed in white, is the one for whom he will self-sacrificially live for and love. He presents her in all her beauty, splendor and purity; symbolized by her wedding dress. It is a special moment.

This is what the Apostle Paul addresses when he writes about Jesus Christ presenting His bride, the church, in heaven in all her heavenly glory. The church’s honor and glory is not inherently her own, but what she has received from her husband, the Lord Jesus Christ.

May each of us reflect, as the bride of Christ, how we may demonstrate our future heavenly glory in the present earthly lives.  

Soli deo Gloria!   

²⁶ “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:26–27 (ESV)

The Apostle Paul continues his comparison of the love a husband is to have for his wife with the love Christ has for the church. Christ’s love is the standard of self-sacrificial love of the will. A husband’s love for his wife is based and established on this sacrificial standard by the Lord Jesus. This holy standard, not only of God the Father’s love but also Christ’s love for the church, was previously spoken about by Paul in Ephesians 2:1-4.

What was the purpose of such love by God for sinners? Paul sets forth three purposes of Christ’s love in today’s text. The first is “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

The second purpose of God’s love in and through Christ is “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.” Jesus Christ remains the subject since being introduced in Eph. 5:25. The masculine singular personal pronouns pertain to Him.

The phrase “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor” is established upon the truth of the first purpose of Christ’s love of sanctifying the church. This is accomplished solely through the regenerating work by the Holy Spirit (John 3:1-8; Titus 3:1-5). Sinners are born again by the Holy Spirit in order to believe the truth of the Gospel. Regeneration precedes faith (John 3:1-3).

The phrase might present (παρίστημι; paristemi) means to cause to exist and to raise up. God the Father and Jesus Christ have raised up sinners unto Himself and justified them by grace alone, through faith alone in the person and work of the Savior alone.

Therefore the church will be resurrected in splendor. Splendor (ἔνδοξος; endoxos) means to be glorious and honored. Christ will present the church glorious to Himself.

As such the church will be eternally recognized as being without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.” Spot (σπίλος; spilos) means a stain or blemish. Wrinkle (ῥυτίς; rhytis) is a crease or imperfection. Paul declared that the resurrected church in heaven will possess and reflect the glory and perfection of Jesus Christ. So too did the Apostle John (I John 3:1-3). 

Dr. R. C. Sproul writes, “Paul outlines in these verses the entire process to which Christ has committed Himself in His relationship with the church. He has washed her from sin and is preparing her for a glorious destiny with Himself. Husbands are called in like manner to adapt their lives to their wives’ needs and to provide for their spiritual growth and development.”                  

Husbands, how are you doing in adapting your life to your wife’s needs, spiritual growth and development? Ask the Lord at this very moment what you can do to truly love your wife as Christ loved, and loves, the church.  

Soli deo Gloria!   

²⁶ “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:26–27 (ESV)

The Apostle Paul continues his comparison of the love a husband is to have for his wife with the love Christ has for the church. Christ’s love is the standard of self-sacrificial love of the will. A husband’s love for his wife is based and established on this sacrificial standard by the Lord Jesus. This holy standard, not only of God the Father’s love but also Christ’s love for the church, was previously spoken about by Paul in Ephesians.

Ephesians 2:1-4 says, “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³ among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴ But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—.”

What was the purpose of such love by God for sinners? Paul sets forth three purposes of God’s love in today’s text. The first is “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

Notice that the personal pronouns He and her respectively speakof the Lord and the church. Jesus Christ is the giver of self-sacrificial love of the will and the church is the object of that love. The purpose of such love is so that Christ might sanctify all believers.

Sanctify (ἁγιάζω; hagiazo) means to make holy. Believers in Christ possess the quality of holiness. The ultimate goal of God’s love is not only to save sinners from judgment, along with to declare them righteous, but also to ultimately make them righteous and holy. Salvation is deliverance from the penalty of sin, the power of sin, and ultimately from the very presence of sin.  

This sanctification is possible because Christ has cleansed the church. Cleansed (καθαρίζω; katharizo) means to purge, purify and to heal. Our English word catharsis comes from this Greek verb.

Christ accomplished this cleansing, Paul says, by the washing of water with the word. This phrase does not refer to water baptism but rather monergistic regeneration by the Holy Spirit through the preaching of the Gospel.

Dr. John Walvoord writes, “This is not baptismal regeneration for that would be contrary to Paul’s teaching in this book as well as all his other writings and the entire New Testament. Metaphorically, being regenerated is pictured as being cleansed by water (cf. “the washing of rebirth” in Titus 3:5). The “Word” (rhēmati) refers to the “preached Word” that unbelievers hear (cf. rhēma in Eph. 6:17; Rom. 10:8, 17; 1 Peter 1:25).”

The sanctifying reality of holiness begins at regeneration. Following the believer’s conversion unto justification, the process of sanctification begins. It does not conclude until the believer in Christ physical dies resulting in complete sanctification or glorification.

Take the opportunity today to praise God for His grace in loving you enough to set you apart unto holiness. May each of us reflect God’s holiness in the lives we lead for the glory of God.  

Soli deo Gloria!   

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)

The Apostle Paul now shifts his attention to the husband of the family. Paul has already mentioned that the husband is the head of the wife. The word head (κεφαλή; kephale) means the one who has the supreme responsibility. This responsibility is solely on behalf of his wife. As we have already noted, the wife has a responsibility to and for her husband.

The husband has an even greater responsibility to his wife. That responsibility is to love her. The word love (ἀγαπάω; agapao) is in the present, active imperative form. This means that God commands each Christian husband to self-sacrificially love his wife. This is a command each Christian husband must obey.

The example for such love is from Jesus Christ Himself. He loved (ἀγαπάω; agapao) the church (ἐκκλησία; ecclesia) or those who would become believers in Christ. Christ displayed this self-sacrificial love of the will when He gave Himself up (παραδίδωμι; paradidomi) or handed himself over to the governing authorities in order to be crucified.

Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is the example God sets for each believing husband. Paul’s emphasis is not on the husband’s responsibility to govern his family but rather on his responsibility to love.

Dr. R. C. Sproul writes, “Nowhere in the New Testament is Christ’s self-sacrificing love applied more directly to a specific relationship as a pattern to be emulated.”

It is interesting to note that wives are not directly commanded to submit to their husbands, but rather commanded to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18). When a wife obeys God’s command and seeks the Spirit’s filling, a natural consequence will be submission to her husband (Eph. 5:22-24; I Peter 3:1).  

However, God does directly command the husband to love his wife. As he is the head of the home, he displays godly headship by taking the lead in loving his wife. When he does so, the wife will more likely respond with submission as God intended.

Dr. John MacArthur writes, “Though the husband’s authority has been established (vv. 22–24), the emphasis moves to the supreme responsibility of husbands in regard to their wives, which is to love them with the same unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Christ has for his church. Christ gave everything he had, including his own life, for the sake of his church, and that is the standard of sacrifice for a husband’s love of his wife.”

Guys, how are you doing in loving your wife as Christ loved the church? If you are like me, you can only do better.

Soli deo Gloria!