
12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.” (1 Timothy 3:12–13 (ESV)
With the notable exception of not being required to teach the Scriptures, deacons must meet the same biblical character qualifications required for elders (I Timothy 3:1-7). Today’s text continues by setting forth the biblical standard of a deacon’s home and family along with God’s promise for those who serve well in this office.
The Apostle Paul wrote deacons must be a husband of one wife. As with elders, this does not mean a deacon must be married. However, if he is he must be a one-woman man. A deacon must guard his mind, emotions and will against any appearance of sexual evil. His relationships with women must be exemplary, whether he is married or not.
“Like the elder, the deacon must be a “one-woman man,” someone who is not a polygamist and who is faithful to his wife if he is married. Again, it is not that marriage itself is the standard for the diaconate but rather faithfulness and monogamy in the marital relationship. Single men are equally able to be ordained as deacons as long as they prove true to God’s command, which for them means chastity in singleness, anticipating the day in which they might be married,” explains Dr. R. C. Sproul.
A deacon must also manage his children and household well. The word managing (προϊστάμενοι; proistamenoi) is a present, middle participle. A deacon must continually and personally lead and guide his family. He must do so well (καλῶς; kalos). This means managing his own family in a biblically correct and praiseworthy manner. This includes his children and property.
“Additionally, we meet again the requirement that a church officer must manage his children and household well (see also vv. 4–5). In a real sense, the home is the training ground for men who would minister to the Lord’s people, whether they serve as elders or deacons. This makes perfect sense because only a few verses later Paul reminds us that the church is the “household of God”
(v. 15). Any man who can control his home and lead his own family in godliness can do the same for our Father’s family,” continues Dr. Sproul.
God gives a promise to deacons who fulfill their biblical qualifications throughout their lifetime of service. For those deacons who serve well, in a biblically correct and praiseworthy manner, God affirms two blessings.
First, deacons who serve well gain a good standing for themselves. The word gain (περιποιοῦνται; peripoiountai) mean to presently, personally and collectively acquire and possess a good standing (βαθμὸν καλὸν; bathmon kalon). This means an advantageous reputation for themselves. They become men worthy of respect.
Second, they also gain great confidence in the faith. The word great (πολλὴν; pollen) means much or many. Confidence (παρρησίαν; parresian) means boldness and courage. This boldness and courage is in union with the faith (πίστει; pistei). Faith means trust in, dependence upon, commitment to and worship of an object. Such faith must be centered in one object and one object alone; Jesus Christ.
“It is entirely right and natural to regard the reward which is here promised as pertaining to the deacons and their helpers. The apostle has been speaking about them, and about no one else, in verses 8–12. The connection, moreover, is very close, being introduced by the word, “for.” It will hardly do, therefore, to say that Paul is still thinking about the overseers, introduced in verse 1, and that he includes these in the reward here promised. To be sure, to these overseers also an incentive has been given, namely, the incentive based on the glorious character of their task (see verse 1). We may even go farther and admit that the blessing described in verse 13 will actually be enjoyed by elders as well as by deacons and their assistants. And we must probably accept as correct the position that the first verb used in the original here in verse 13 (cf. verse 10) should not be rendered “have served (well) as deacons” but simply “have served (well),” explains Dr. William Hendriksen.
“But though all this be freely granted, it still remains true that in the present passage the apostle is in all probability speaking about the persons mentioned in the immediately preceding context (verses 8–12). In verse 1 the incentive for the elders was indicated: their task is glorious. Verse 13 now adds the incentive for the deacons: their reward is rich. Let no one, permitting himself to be misled by the fact that it is the deacons’ task to serve and not (like the elders) to rule, begin to think lightly of them and of their office. Let it be remembered that those deacons who have served well acquire for themselves a noble standing. The church will think highly of them because they have performed their tasks in a worthy manner. (Incidentally, the word rendered standing has the primary meaning a step, say of a staircase. Since such a staircase with its steps could be used to measure the sun’s shadow, see 2 Kings 20:9–11 in the LXX, the meaning degree—cf. the “degrees” on a sun-dial—is not strange. Hence, in some such way the figurative meaning degree, rank, standing is easily reached.).”
“Moreover, the very consciousness of the fact that with the help of God he has done his best, so that he is not vexed by pangs of conscience, will give the deacon great confidence. He will not hold back, but will tell all (παρρησία is derived from πᾶς, all, and ῥῆσις telling, speech). This confidence has reference to the faith (subjective sense here) which centers in Christ Jesus. It is concerning him that the deacon will freely and gladly testify.”[1]
To be an elder, or a deacon and deaconess, is to serve in a sacred calling and office. It is not to be regarded as a status symbol within the church, but rather a humble and holy obligation and responsibility.
May the Lord’s truth and grace be found here. Have a blessed day in the Lord.
Soli deo Gloria!
[1] William Hendriksen and Simon J. Kistemaker, Exposition of the Pastoral Epistles, vol. 4, New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1953–2001), 134–135.
