4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1 Timothy 3:4–5 (ESV)
“Eli was a priest when the judges governed Israel, and as such he was supposed to be an example to the people as their worship leader. Yet his homelife made it impossible for him to be a model for those under his care. Scripture minces no words in describing his sons as “worthless,” men who “did not know the Lord” (1 Sam. 2:12). We would not ordinarily blame Eli for his sons’ adult transgressions, especially since Eli did rebuke them for their sins (vv. 22–26). Apparently, however, Eli’s admonitions were half-hearted because God charged the priest with exalting his sons above the Almighty (vv. 27–29), something that Eli likely did from their youth. Eli’s disordered, undisciplined, sinful family revealed that his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord. Being unfit for leadership, Eli was finally removed from his position (vv. 30–36; 4:12–18),” explains Dr. R. C. Sproul.
“Ancient peoples believed that private behavior was indicative of effective leadership and, consequently, that a family’s conduct determined whether the father would be a skilled leader. Well-behaved kids revealed consistent, caring discipline at home, which proved that a man could govern a group larger than his family. Many people today reject this premise, but Scripture sides with the ancients on this matter, telling the church to choose for elders only those men who manage their homes in dignity, with submissive children (1 Tim. 3:4).”
The Apostle Paul emphasized to Timothy the importance of an elder’s family life. Since leadership is all about character, the elder’s true character is most often displayed in his home and among his family. A man who is ungodly at home, while pretending to be godly at church gatherings, is not fit for the office of overseer. Much too often an individual is selected to be an elder because of his status in the community, his wealth and/or influence.
Paul said an elder must manage his own household well with all dignity. The phrase He must manage (προϊστάμενον; proistamenon) means to presently and personally lead, help and guide his own household. Household (οἴκου; oikou) refers to his family. This household management must be done well (καλῶς; kalos), meaning to be done rightly, correct, and in excellence. All dignity (πάσης σεμνότητος; pases semnotetos) refers to personally possessing every kind of proper and respectful behavior.
The apostle continued by stating keeping his children submissive. Keeping (ἔχοντα; echonta) means to presently and actively possess submissive children. Submissive (ὑποταγῇ; hypotage) not only means obedient but also responsible to and responsible for one’s family. This is what the elder’s children (τέκνα; tekna), offspring or underage son or daughter must demonstrate.
The logical reason for such a requirement is explained in vs. 5. “For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” Leadership in the home must precede leadership in the church. In other words, leadership in a public forum of one’s church must be based upon a prior leadership in the private setting of one’s home.
“The submission that qualifies a man to be an elder is not instilled through a harshness or legalism that requires perfection or that the children be something other than what they are, both of which will provoke the child to anger. Instead, it results when a father raises his kids in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4), which, one commentator says, manifests itself in a firmness that makes it advisable for children to obey, a wisdom that makes it natural for them to obey, and a love that makes it a pleasure for them to obey,” continues Dr. Sproul.
“Ruling the church well requires the same sort of nurture, courage, and thoughtfulness that make discipline effective. This is a common-sense observation that the Lord Himself approves in today’s passage. If a man cannot lead his own family, how can we expect him to lead the family of God (1 Tim. 3:5)?”
John Calvin states an elder is an individual “who has learned to govern a family by wholesome discipline.” For those who read this essay and who serve as an elder in a local church, may this be true of each of us.
May the Lord’s truth and grace be found here. Have a blessed day in the Lord.
Soli deo Gloria!
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