Continuing our study in Paul’s Epistle to the Colossians, a new paragraph begins in Colossians 3:18-4:1. The truth of what believers “are” in Christ is to be balanced by how believers are to live for Christ. The practical truth of Jesus Christ as the only and all-sufficient Savior, and as sole source of the believers’ life, is now applied to specific groups and situations. What people groups does the Apostle Paul, and the Holy Spirit, have in mind?
Primarily, they were thinking of household groups. What we have in this extended biblical section is a kind of “catalogue of household responsibilities.” Even non-Christian moralists advocate mores of domestic, blissful behavior. Sometimes, Christians opt for secular advice rather than the word of God regarding family life. However, Paul was not adding to unbiblical opinions or philosophies. The apostle was not sugar-coating domestic relationships with a thin veneer of merely adding “in Christ”—which completely misses the point.
Between these pithy directives presented here in Colossians—also in Eph. 5:22–6:9; 1 Tim. 2:8–15; 6:1, 2; Titus 2:1–10; 1 Peter 2:12–3:7—and the maxims of the Stoics and other first century Greek moral philosophers, there is a superficial resemblance. Yet, there are at least three main differences.
First, biblical Christianity supplies the power to carry out the commands. The power being the grace of God (Titus 2:1–10, then verse 11; cf. Phil. 4:13), and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:1-9; I Cor. 6:919-20). All other moral philosophies, even the very best of them, are vehicles lacking these engines.
Second, biblical Christianity also supplies a new purpose. The goal was/is not simply to try to live in harmony with Nature. Rather, believers in Christ are “to do everything to the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31). Or, to do all “in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him,” (Col. 3:17). The only proper way to explain Col. 3:18–4:1 is in light of Col. 3:5-17 and the emphasis on godly behavior, speech and attitudes.
Finally, biblical Christianity supplies the only true pattern for God-glorifying behavior and conduct by the very household groups Paul discussed: wives and their husbands, children and their fathers, servants and their masters.
What are 5 dangers to avoid in managing one’s children? Pastor William Boekestein provides insight.
- Mishandling the Rod of Discipline.
Surely the rod can be used too little. “He who spares his rod hates his child” (Prov. 13:24). Children need to be taught that sin hurts. If they don’t, they may lose interest in pursuing godliness because they don’t see the danger of sin.
But the rod can also be used too much. The Apocrypha says: “He who loves his son will whip him often… bow down his neck in his youth, and beat his sides while he is young” (Ecclus. 30:1,12). This is not Christian discipline. Sometimes a wise rebuke is better than the rod (Prov. 17:10). This is particularly so as a child moves past the early years of childhood. Matthew Henry urges parents to exercise authority not “with rigor and severity, but with kindness and gentleness.” If your children can forget that you love them, either during or immediately following discipline, you might be doing it wrong.
- Maintaining a Disorderly Home.
God is a God of order (1 Cor. 14:33). He has created us in his image to promote order and thrive in the context of order. A disorderly home can discourage children. A perpetually messy, or especially an unsanitary home can help produce poorly adjusted children. A lack of regularly scheduled meal times and bed times can frustrate children’s God-given desire for order.
- Holding Inappropriate Expectations.
Some parents expect almost nothing from their kids. In such settings, children can lose energy or passion because they are never helped to “reach forward to those things which are ahead” (Phil 3:13). In other homes too much is expected. Experience teaches that unreasonable expectations are the ideal breeding ground for discouragement. If your children regularly fail to measure up to your standards, you might be expecting too much.
- Building a Joyless Home.
In some homes children are not treated with the dignity that God requires. Some parents rarely congratulate or encourage their children, focusing instead, on their faults. Parents must never forget that their children are people created in God’s image. Children of believers are even included in God’s covenant (1 Cor. 7:14).
- Failing to Speak as “One Flesh.”
Too often, dad and mom are not operating by the same rules when it comes to interacting with their kids. One parent might be more lenient. The other might be more demanding. But such “accidental doublespeak” is dangerously confusing to our children. In irreconcilable disagreements the wife must graciously acquiesce to her husband’s leadership (Col. 3:18).
There are many more potential causes for childhood discouragement. Like good physicians, parents should evaluate the spiritual health of their children and, where applicable, diagnose the source of their children’s discouragement. Sometimes the answer will be found by looking in the mirror.
No one is a perfect wife, husband, parent or child. However, by God’s grace and His Word, we can try to improve in biblical love and godliness. May the Lord’s truth and grace be found here. Have a blessed LORD’s Day.
Soli de Gloria!
His Word Today 